Week 27

"Sunrise"
      She sits at night with her head in her hands wondering how much more of this she can take. She feels like everyone who tells her that no one cares about here is right, shes starting to believe everything the bullies have been telling her since she was in fifth grade. she feels as if its finally caught up with her. everything and anything anyone has ever said to her all floods her head at once. She gets up and calls her friend who feels is the only one she has that cares about her and he well being. He answers even if it is three AM "whats wrong?" thats the first thing he says to her. she begins to try and tells him shes not sure she can handle living much more, little did she know he was bout to say something to her that was going to change her mind set on everything thats happened to her in the past and everything thats happening to her now. "Listen to me" he says "you are amazing and you are worth it. if you can calm down even just a little and listen to what im saying. all those people who are saying those things to you, they dont know you, they dont know who you are, they dont know what has happened to you in the passed, all they know about you is your name. they can say whatever they want but you know the truth about what they are saying you know its all crap." all he can hear is her crying "Hey listen to me ill come get you in the morning as soon as they sunrises, youve just gotta make it until then. You can make it to the sunrise dear. I know you can." he stayed on the phone with her and as soon as the sun started to rise he left this house and came to hers. he slowly came into the house and went to her room to comfort her. he sat on the bed and let her cry on his shoulder while he sat there holding her. "I told you, you could do it. Youve just gotta think i can make it to the sunrise and then once you do ill be here, ill wait everyday for the sunrise if i need to, if thats what its going to take for you to be okay then i can do it everyday" she smiled at him with her tear soaked face. he smiled back at her. he laid down beside her, and he whispered in her ear as she fell asleep. "You can make it to the Sunrise..."

Week 31

The only advice i can think of to tell the incoming juniors is to make sure they do their homework, and yes there is a lot of it but they have got to do it. they should try not to worry about everyone else until they get their own stuff done and try to stay calm when they get flooded with homework and tests and finals and everything else stressful about school. i found out writing out all of the home work assignments they get is definitely worth doing. another thing is DO NOT MISS MORE SCHOOL THAN THEY HAVE TO!! it is a pain to get caught up, especially if  they don't have a study hall, or if they don't use the study hall as they should. (they should really use the study hall(s) it really is helpful)

Week 30

The five people who i would want on my would be 1. My mom 2. Anna 3. my friend Allison 4. Dakota (my boyfriend) 5. my friend chase
those five people know more about me than anyone that i know. they also are the people i go to when things get tough for me. i know they will always be there for me when i need them. my mom knows how i am when im home. anna knows things about me because ive gone to her for advice more times than i can count. my friend allison could fill me in on my life in 8 grade to last year which a lot has happened. Dakota well honestly hes knows everything about me, everything my mom knows, everything anna knows, everything allison knows, everything chase knows about me and more i tell him everything. and finally chase, hes been a really good friend of mine and has been since he moved to eureka  when i was a freshman i believe. hes always there when i need someone to cry on and hes always been there. he knows all of my emotional issues and problems, which you know its a lot. thats my panel of 5 experts on my life.

Week 29

maybe the adventure we go on will end with me just staring at my class mates and wondering whats wrong with this class. hudson trying to get us to listen and trying to teach us something. brody trying to get everyone to laugh. anna making inside jokes and almost being totally oblivious to whats going on in the mean time. and thats just fine because thats how i like this class. just with most of us doing our own thing yet getting along with everyone at the same time. we would probably just end up going somewhere people think would be a good idea and a great place and it be totally awful and everyone will complain about it. i can see that happening honestly.. thats it.

Week 32

Most Interesting Part of This Class: Beowulf
Least Favorite Part of This Class: the midweeks, not the homework aspect of it, but the learning of it.
Hardest I Laughed in This Class: When Jacob compared Grammar to an infomercial
Favorite Memory from This Class: when Brody and Jeffrey decided to have a sword fight.. i just it was something I will remember
Best Thing About Hudson as a Teacher: She is very very understanding, and we always, ALWAYS get off topic but we still get stuff done.
Thing Hudson Could do to Make This Class Better For Future Classes: I cant think of anything 

Any Final Comments for Hudson: Keep doing what you're doing, you're doing a fabulous job my dear 

Week 26

Something i could have said instead of what i had said? i mean honestly i wish i just wouldn't even had said anything. like why did i waste my time and energy on drama and dealing with peoples mouths. thats what got me where i am and i have no drama in my life and people who try to start it with  me just get ignored completely and im doing just fabulous this way. its making my life more stress free and allowing me to be a happier person, when i say things i just learn to accept what i said even if it wasnt the right thing, at all. you cant change the past so i dot see a point in dwelling on anything thats happened in the past.

Theme Songs

honestly my theme song would probably be Kids in the Dark by All Time Low. The lyrics mean something to me. something personal to me. and it reminds me that im not alone in how i feel and thats what i want everyone to tell like, i want people to know they are not alone at all. no matter how they feel, people may not understand the situation but they may be in the same boat as you. i just always felt so alone when i was having hard times and when i heard this song it instantly reminded me that i wasnt at all. when i seen the music video is when i really stopped feeling so alone, granted the song didnt just magically make me realize i wasnt alone but it helped, a lot.

This is how the beginning of the song goes.. 

"Here we are,
At the end of the road - a road that's quietly caving in,
Come too far to pretend that we don't - we don't miss where we started,
Looking back, I see a setting sun, and watch my shadow fade into the floor,
I am left standing on the edge
Wondering how we got this far, (how we got this far...)"




Heres the link for the music video if you wana listen to it - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SaIegdJxTsE

Dear, Michael W.

Michael, I just wanted to let you know how thankful i am for you being there for me when ever i need you the most. Youve helped me so much when i needed someone or anyone or even when i wanted to be left alone and not talked to because i didnt want anyones help. You are my bestfriend despite the 200 plus miles between us. As you know I have had some tough things happen to me, thats how we became friends if you remember. people started posting stuff about me on social media. Posting my personal information all over the place and telling people to tell me to kill myself and people did.. a ton of people did message me telling me to and i was at the breaking point after three days of none stop messages. But you messaged me and asked if i was okay. and honestly i wasnt okay and you knew it, you called me and talked me out of suicide. with out knowing anything about me. you saved my life. and more than once weve been friends for almost five years now and ive had it really rough during all of it but you never once gave up hope when i did, you always showed me i had a reason to live. Plus all the times we skyped all night while you stayed up an d bulit your computer and played your stupid games, oh that was fun. all nighters happened a lot over the summer!! I just wanted to remind you you mean a lot to me Child. (yeah thats still your nickname lol get used to it its not guna change)

~Hannah Lynn

1000 years in the future

i honestly believe that a 1000 years from now there will be a lot more new technology involved in peoples daily lifes. and yes people will still be around i promise that we will be here for much longer than people think. But in the future they will have self driving cars, they will have cars that dont have to use gas but will powered by something different. Most people will be very very VERY lazy i honestly think that people wont be able to functions as we do right now a thousand years from right now. i think everyone will be very dependent on technology to help them with simple everyday things, and honestly i dont think i would like that very much.

things you never knew about me

Well theres probably a lot you all dont know about me.. i am adopted (by my step dad), i have a huge family extended and all, I have to more concerts than i can count.. i have seen Five Finger Death Punch, Alter Bridge, PVRIS, Mallory Knoxs, blessthefall, Hollywood Undead and a lot more..  I lived with my friend Grace for a summer. I dont even know what else to say. I have been dyeing my hair since 4th grade (long long time i know). I read a lot, like a lot. I have read every book in the Twilight series more times than i can count, yes i love Twilight. I want to do something in the medical field when i go into college, not really sure what i want to do yet. and thats really it.

Celebrity Crush

Well you see there are tons of celebrities i would like to get know better. they arent really super famous and not anyone really knows who they are but i do and i love them. number one would be Kellin Quinn. He is the singer for the band Sleeping with Sirens. He is married and has a daughter and her name in Copeland and shes adorable. I wouldnt want to go on a date with him i would just like to get to know him better. He had gone through a lot of the same things i have when he was a teenager. He also has an amazing voice. Ive gone to a Sleeping with Sirens concert and when he got on stage it was honestly one of the most amazing moments of my life. He gave a speech i guess about how everyone is important and how everyone matters. He really does know what its like to be in a place where you feel stuck. He wants to help so many people its amazing. He really does care about his fans and you know that bc when i was at the concert, he broke down crying. he was told during meet and greats that a friend of someones was supposed to go to the concert but she ended up killing herself a month before, and when he was giving the speech about how everyone matters and we all have a reason to live he started crying.. a lot. He told us all that he would always be there, all we have to do is put our headphones in and it would be okay.

Happily Ever After

Some people i know make jokes about how people from fairy tales get in a huge fight about things stupid things and they split up. My aunt use to make jokes about how Snow White left and ran off with all of the dwarves and married one of them then after two months went on to the next dwarf. Then once she had already married all of them she ran back to her prince and wanted him back so bad. But he had already moved on and married someone else. and she cried and cried and yeah  that what my aunt use to tell me when i was a little kid. needless to say my aunt wasnt very kid friendly when i was little.

Inside Jokes

I cant tell you what they are other wise you all would get the joke. But me and Kacy have a lot of inside jokes, like soup... just soup... me and anna have  alot too but i can not talk about those bc i mean they arent really school appropriate.. I have a lot of inside jokes with me and my friends from eureka, but i can tell you those ones. Me and my friend Grace last year were in clothing and textiles in eureka and we ALWAYS bugged our teacher to let us make Pajama Pants.. well we were really really close with our teacher i mean she was pretty much my grandmother in a way.. so one day when we were taking a test, and we talked about the thing we had just learned about dont really remember what it was. but we decided to not say anything but Pajama Pants and our teacher just laughed like crazy. when we were handed our test we were the first ones to turn it in bc all we put for the answers was Pajama Pants for every single answer.. our teacher laugh so hard everyone in the class looked up to see what was going on. we stayed after school to finish our test. the next day we walk in the room and our teacher was handing out patterns for the next project (not Pajama Pants)  but she skipped us. she explained what to do then sat at her desk, me and grace went and asked her why she skipped us. she smiled and reached under her desks and threw brand new fabric at both me and grace each with a note that said "make your ____  pajama pants" all three of us laughed so hard the rest of the hour.

My 20+ Siblings...

So, I have 30 siblings. And no my mother did not give birth to them all, we just took them in and helped raise them. My mom is a foster parent. So lets start with the ones my mom did give birth to. Me, Hailee, and Hunter are all siblings we have the same mother. Hailee and Hunter have the same father.
These are the kids my mom did not give birth to.
1 KimberLee, she is two now we took her home from the hospital.
2 Gage, he came along with KimberLee we only expected to have her, but we couldnt say no to him (Gage and KimberLee have the same mother, and we adopoted them about not even a year ago)
3 Faith, she is my step dads daughter but shes alway been more of a real sister to me(She just had a baby a few months ago!).
4 Sammi, Sam is my dads sister so shes my aunt, but my mom and dad adpoted her when she was a teenager so she was my sister legally(She just had a baby last week!).
5 Taryn, she is my older sister with out a doubt. A friend of my moms daughter. She came and lived with us until she turned 18, she was with us for three or four years.
6 Tommy, Tommy didnt stay with us very long, but long enough for us to love him like he was a brother. He stayed maybe 3 months or so during the summer. I remember pushing him around in the yard with the toy cars we had, he LOVED those things.
7 Olivia, she was another foster child, i dont remember how long she stayed but i do remember i loved having another little sister, she was so beautiful and she didnt want to leave us. I remember the day she left us, she hugged me and told me she would love me forever then kissed me on the cheek.
8 Mikey, he stayed with us for about a year. he was 4 or 5, but since my mom was just a foster parent he didnt stay with us for that long before he was adopted. I remember the day he left too, he was scared but he was excited. He still calls my mom every mothers day, he thinks its the coolest thing that he has three moms (he was adopted my a same sex couple).
9 Tank, okay thats not his real name at all, but i dont know how to spell his name. but we called him tank because he was HUGE for how old her was. he was three years younger than Hunter, and he was bigger than him!
10 Sean, he stayed with us when he was a baby, his bio mother was doing crack when she was pregnant with him, so he was a difficult baby. we still have contact with him, he knows who we are and he is a very shy kid now but he always loves when we see him.
11 Dominic, he was my neighbor and the oldest of the three of the boys that lived across the street. They all stayed with us because their home life was not that great so they stayed with us most the time. Dominic was my best friend for a very long time. He was also my first kiss.
12  Brady, he is the middle kid of the boys who lived across the street, and he was my sister best friend.
13 Tanner, he is the yongerst of the boy that lived across the street, he my brothers best friend.
14 Payne, oh this child.. hes a year younger than me and he use to be my best friend when we were little, we use to race our bikes around the block with our friend Lucas, who passed away in 2006.
15 Allison, okaayyy she was my best friend ever for many many years. We got close after our friend Cheyenne passed away when i was in 8th grade.. we were connected at the hip, we did everything together, we went everywhere together.. she was always over and she was big part of my family.
16 Ayme, she was a really really good friend. before Cheyenne passed we were super close, she basically lived with me. i mean my mom paid for her school pictures. After Cheyenne passed we started to grow apart but shes still my sister, shes still my "twin".
17 Kinyon, Okay this boy is by far one of the closest people to and older sibling ive had, i mean yeah the rest we were close but kinyon is like an overprotective older brother who worries to much about his little sister.. i love kinyon more than half these people on this list honestly
18 Luke, okay hes more or less my cousin but not really its easier to call him a brother, hes 20 or so now and i dont see him often but when i do its always awesome
19 Clinton, Clint my little brother he luke and iley are all brothers Clint is the yougnest. Its been a while since i seen him but hes a lot like me. Like Doctor Who, Harry Potter, and stuff like that. And hes super tall like taller than me but everyone is taller than me!
20 Iley, okay hes the middle kid of the three. hes an awesome wrestler and he an awesome guy to play baseball with. He thought me how to fight and defend myself and things like that.

I have more siblings than that but thats more typing i dont want to do.

Traveling..

So if i could go anywhere in the entire world i honestly dont know where i would go honestly. I really want to go to Germany, and honestly i dont know why. I wouldnt want to go by my self. But honestly i dont think that would as much fun as what i really want to do once i graduate. Once I graduate i want to go all over this country every state, stop in some big cities, stop in small towns. No detestation in mind just pick a state and go. I think itll be so much fun spend time with maybe Anna and Kacy maybe with my sister.. who really knows. I think itll be a really great memory to make with anyone who went with me. I do believe that i would become a lot closer to the people who went. And yes i know its A LOT of money for all of this, but with three people putting money together for it, it will all work out one way or the other. One thing for sure im not taking a small little car or anything like that, we will find a bus or a large van or something. Spending time doing that and getting closer with people seems amazing to me, and i would choose that over going to Germany or some other country.

7th grade..

Okay one no two no and three NO! When i was in 5th grade things started going very bad for me. The things people said and did to me were not something i would want to relive then in 6th grade i started doing things i should not have been doing to my self, toward the end of my 6th grade year the things i did became a daily thing. Even if i woke up the first day of 7th grade, i know it wouldn't go any different for me because i was a very narrow minded and stubborn kid, i didn't listen even if i knew the things would help me, i didn't want the help at all. If i could tell myself something i would tell myself to listen to my mom and dad and trust they were going to help you, i would tell my self that there were so many different things to do to handle the things people were doing and saying. I would really try to convince my younger self to believe that things would get better, no matter how hard they got. Sometimes i wish i would have listened and trusted my parents. But if there was only one thing i could tell my younger self it would be to stay strong and keep my head up.